You see…
I’m always like this.
As a person, I am very much flawed. Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, there are marks of obvious imperfection. I used to hate it and tried to be someone rather opposite. I became cautious and damn the pressure I put into myself to try to make things perfect for me. But then it led me nowhere but to broken self-esteem at the end. It was very exhausting.
The sad truth is, I make mistakes, I’m prone to lousy choices, I fail most of the times. I cry if I want to, and if I have to. I say what I want when I want it, I keep my silence when I feel like it.
My mind is always busy with random thoughts, some are of regrets and what if’s, and well, some are feelings of achievement too.
I still dream, my mind wanders of to some place far away when I’m alone and there’s nothing to do. I dream of a different life, a different place and different situation. But I know when to snap out of the dream and focus back to reality.
I’m weird, I’m out of this world, I’m unpredictable and hard to understand.
My mind is one big maze and it’s hard to figure out how it works.
Sometimes I feel that if I’m a different person, I don’t want to make friends with myself.
Oh the feeling is somewhat suicidal sometimes.
But you know what’s the best part of this mess?
Someone actually understands.
Someone actually accepts my imperfection.
Someone loves me despite everything.
