Dear Papa and Mama
I wish you would go home.
I miss you. I just realized that I have already lived more than 15 years without you, and that’s not okay, that’s not even close to ok.
Papa, when I was a child, I used to look at your pictures a lot, Mom compiled a bunch of pictures of you, I looked at all your achievements, and wished someday, I’d get one myself. Remember when you won a Photography Contest? You even had that news paper article cut out. I was so proud then, I told all my classmates about you. I was the star of the class, and that’s all because of you. Everybody wanted to be me, I was ahead of everything. Every month you would send us Barbies and Polly Pockets and really cool stationery set and everyone would envy me. They said they wanted a father like you.
Mama, even though I see you every year, there’s a lot of things we miss out on each other. I miss the old days, where we would eat meals together and go out together. I miss us being together. I miss everything.
I know the reason why you are out there, why we have to be away from each other. I know you both want us to have good education, wonderful house and all that.
But you know what, deep inside me, I’ve always thought that I’d be willing to sacrifice all material things just to have you with us. I hate spending Christmas and New Year with just a phone call. A five to ten-minute phone call. I hate celebrating Birthdays with greeting cards. I hate to have to write to you just to tell you I got an A with my subjects.
I hate having to live without you.
When I was a child, it was okay. I was too young to understand, I was naive. I didn’t realize that life is not that kind.
When I was being bullied, I wanted you to be there for me and make me feel that everything’s okay. When I got my first suitor, and had my first crush, I wanted you to tell me what’s good and what’s bad about having relationships. When I was being whistled at by strangers, I wanted you to step out and yell at them, for me. I wanted to go to malls and churches every Sunday and be able to hug you when the priest says we have to give each other a sign of peace.
I want to do a lot of things with you.
I want you here. I’ve always wanted to.
Whenever I see complete families, I always feel that pain inside of me. I want you to realize that it’s not worth it. I’d rather be poor than not have you and mom here with me. It’s not worth it. It’ll never be worth it. A thousand bucks will never, ever buy a Christmas I have to spend alone and crying.
It’s never gonna be worth it.
I’m 21 now. and only God knows the future ahead of us. You’re 50 now. I don’t want to spend any more years on phonecalls and emails.
I don’t want to waste any time.
Come home.
It’s tough living without you guys here. We need you.
